How To Be a Good Roommate
One of the most important parts of transitioning into life as a college student is learning how to be the best roommate you can be. Sharing a space with someone new is a huge adjustment for anyone, so it's critical that you learn the unspoken etiquette of residence hall life. Regardless of whether you’ll be rooming with a close friend or a total stranger, being a good roommate requires respect, communication and cooperation.
It’s a good idea to communicate with your roommate before the beginning of the school year. That way, you can both decide in advance how you’re going to decorate and figure out which shared items each roommate is responsible for purchasing. This early communication ensures that you’re both on the same page, know what to expect and can begin to build trust.
Oftentimes, two roommates won’t have the exact same taste in decor – perhaps your roommate prefers a blue color scheme while you enjoy yellow. Contrast in aesthetics is okay! Coming to a compromise on style is an important step towards making your shared space feel like home for both of you. Furthermore, you and your roommate might be very different people – you may have different values, interests, backgrounds, spiritual beliefs, etc. – and that’s alright. It’s no cause for worry, and it doesn’t mean that your roommate relationship is doomed from the start. Be considerate of your personal differences and acknowledge that you and your roommate might not agree on everything. Flexibility and open mindedness will set you up for success in the long run.
You don’t have to be best friends with your roommate, but it’s helpful to at least have a rapport or some basic connection. You can’t force friendship, but you can do simple things to begin to build a friendly relationship – getting a meal or studying together, letting your roommate know about fun upcoming campus events, and small, kind gestures can strengthen your bond. Having an open line of communication is crucial, and transparency is especially key in establishing trust and healthy boundaries. When expressing your expectations or needs to your roommate, be respectful and use kind but direct language. On the other hand, if your roommate brings up a concern or suggestion to you, be a good, empathetic listener and try to understand their point of view.
These same tactics should be used when handling roommate conflict – being mature and respectful during communication will help you reach compromise swiftly. Also, big conversations should be done face-to-face rather than over text; this makes the conversation more personal, and it’ll help you avoid miscommunication and misunderstanding.
While it may seem like a given, it’s important to always respect your shared space. Maintaining peace in the room is key; simple actions like cleaning up after yourself and being mindful of your little ecosystem can go a long way. And although the room belongs to both of you, remembering to step out occasionally and give your roommate time to be alone is a great way to be a considerate roommate. Everyone needs their alone time every once in a while! At the end of the day, being a good roommate comes down to mutual respect, open communication and a willingness to be flexible. When done effectively, you can create one of the most rewarding relationships of your college experience!
Bella is a sophomore at Saint Louis University studying psychology and marketing. She is originally from St. Louis, Missouri.